My Experience Living with a Host Sister
- Admin
- Mar 26, 2018
- 9 min read
A little over a month before I left for the UK, a packet was delivered to my house with all the information on where I would be staying. Hands shaking with excitement, I tore into it and got the first look at what my life would be like in England. I found out I would be staying in Sutton Coldfield, a nice town outside of Birmingham, the second largest city in England, in the West Midlands region. I got to read about my host parents, the neighborhood where they lived, and the school I would be attending. While that all sounded fine to me, I was most intrigued by what was listed underneath my host parents information.
When I discovered that I would be living with another exchange student, I became even more excited. But anxiety followed. What if we didn’t get along? What if we had nothing in common? What if we weren’t able to communicate with each other? I knew nothing about this girl, which I saw as a potential problem. But I was still hopeful and I didn’t let my nerves get the best of me.
A couple weeks before leaving, a follow request popped up on my Instagram from a someone named ‘Bianca’. Realizing she was the girl I’d be staying with, I immediately followed her back. Naturally, I spied a little bit on her profile. Her feed was filled with photos of her travels around Latin America. She smiled brightly in front of monuments or posed on the beach. But I couldn’t extract much about her from these photos, as I've learned that Instagram is never a true reflection of one's life.
When I received a message from her, I was nervous to respond. I wanted to make a good impression and hopefully make a connection. We chatted for a little while about our interests and got to know where each other was from. I learned a bit about Argentina, which was a country I knew very little about before. She seemed nice enough, but I still worried we wouldn’t get along in person once we had to live together for three months.
But, boy, was I wrong.
I came to England worried about living with another exchange student but I left with a new best friend and a sister.
Stratford-upon-Avon
The first meeting was awkward, which is completely normal for most exchange students. Arriving and meeting other people in a new country - especially if they speak a different language to you - is incredibly overwhelming. I sat in the Birmingham airport with the other arriving students, waiting for a few hours before Bianca’s plane landed. After some delays, I, along with four other girls, was ushered out to a van almost immediately after Bianca’s plane landed. We didn’t even have the chance to say hello before we were rushing through the airport, each dragging at least two massive suitcases that contained our lives for this whole adventure.
Out of the other girls, I could recognize her based off of the photos I had seen of her. As someone who had always struggled with being shy, I wasn’t sure how to approach her and start a conversation. She spoke rapidly in Spanish with two of the other girls, who came from Argentina and Spain. I stayed up ahead with a girl I had befriended over the last couple hours of waiting, who had also traveled from America. I tried to play it cool but that plan failed completely when I fell UP the escalator dropping my huge duffle suitcase almost onto the girl’s behind me - not the first impression I wanted to make.
But my embarrassing moment seemed to be soon forgotten. We were all too focused on the bundle of nerves and excitement in our stomachs. We loaded into a large van got our first glance of the country we would be living in for the next semester. During the ride, we all introduced ourselves and I started to come out of my shell a little more. Our voices were soft and slow, a combination of being jet-lagged, a little shy, and making sure we could understand each other. I finally introduced myself to Bianca and we exchanged a smile that was a little awkward, but friendly nonetheless.
Bianca and I were the last to be dropped off. We had said goodbye to the other girls and watched their first meeting with their new families. My stomach tossed and turned, like that feeling you get on a hill of a rollercoaster - when the tension is building as the car inches up the slope and you can just see the apex where the track in front of you disappears. Just like that drop in the distance, I could not see what my future would bring. Would I enjoy the ride, feeling satisfied when it was all over? Or would there be too many loops and corkscrews to hold on to?
Filled with jitters, the van pulled into a nice neighborhood of brick houses - every building in England seemed to be made of brick. The houses were all twins, two homes connected by just a wall, each bungalow short and built up by the same red brick. The van finally came to a stop in front of a house that looked just like the rest, the only differentiating factor was the little garden statue of a naked woman, like a much less grand Greek sculpture, in the front yard that would become the butt of jokes between our friend group (pun intended).
Bianca and I stepped out on the sidewalk both in a fit of nervous giggles, as if we had exchanged an inside joke that no one else could understand. Standing close together as a form of comfort, we walked up the path towards the front door where our new life awaited.
The first day of school
That was the start of our friendship. I found that it was easy to bond with the other exchange students because we all understood how each other felt - we were scared to be alone in a new country but still brave enough to do it. We all loved to travel and were excited to learn about a new culture. We were all outsiders but that’s what brought us all together.
Over the next three months, Bianca and I became as close as true sisters - part of that due to the fact that we were almost never apart. When we arrived at our host family’s house, we were shown our room which, to my dismay, we had to share. I remember feeling bitter about this fact because I had specifically requested to have my own room when filling out the application since I am an introvert and need my own space to relax and clear my head (or "recharge my battery" as my equally introverted mother says). In the information packet I had received on my family, it had stated that there were three bedrooms in the house, not two, so I had come in thinking I would have my own space to stay. It didn’t help that the room was quite tiny - as most British rooms are - and did not seem built to fit two teenage girls. Our twin-sized beds were pushed right up against each other as if forming one queen sized and the wardrobes seemed much too small to fit all of the contents of both of our huge suitcases.
But despite my initial disappointment of the room, I guess I should be thankful because it soon became our room. Some of my best memories with Bianca took place in that tiny, floral patterned space - loads of inside jokes, dance parties, and deep conversations. That room was where our friendship flourished. We shared clothes, helped each other with homework, pigged out on chocolate, and really got to know each other.
I can’t deny that I wasn’t always the best roommate. As I mentioned, I’m a huge introvert, so I struggled to get used to the lack of privacy and quiet time. I remember growing irritated in the middle of the first month after the initial shock and excitement had worn off. Not because of anything Bianca was doing - in fact, she was the dream roommate that anyone would want - but because I was unused to being around people 24/7. I didn’t have my own space to recharge my social battery. I do apologize to Bianca for that week or two when I was just a little too snippy. Soon enough, I grew to love sharing a room with her.
Having a roommate is never perfect all the time, which I’m glad I learned before I head off to college. There are always quirks, discrepancies, and things you need to get used to. But with an open mind and conversation, things can always be worked out. Bianca and I were lucky enough not to get into any fights, we got along quite well most of the time. We found ways the balance our schedules in the morning, sharing the one bathroom. We learned each other’s class schedules, so we knew which days we shared free periods. And took care of each other, making sure we each remembered our school badge, bus pass, and homework. I had to get used to her sleep talking - which was more funny than annoying - and she had to adjust to my grumpiness when I was tired. Even with our differences that spanned from personal to cultural, I couldn't have asked for a better roommate.
Although we spent almost all our time at home together, we never grew sick of each other’s company, always sticking with each other wherever we went. In school, we shared some classes, ate lunch together, and always sat together when we had the same free periods. We went out for lunches or dinners after school, went on shopping sprees in town, and traveled everywhere together. As best friends and partners and crime, we were almost never seen without each other.
Nando's for lunch
It helped that we had the same friend group too. Although I’m shy, having someone I knew beside me all times helped me feel more comfortable in situations where I normally wouldn’t have spoken much. I was much more open and came out of my shell to make friends at my school who I still talk to - and greatly miss - today. I absolutely adore the group of friends I made in England - but that’s a whole other post. Bianca and I were invited to their birthday parties, went on trips, and went out with them on weekends, always having tons of fun. We also made many amazing friends among the other exchange students. Once a month, we'd go on trips with them organized by the company as well as plan our own meetups in the city. There wasn’t ever a time where I felt lonely and, even if I didn’t know anyone else around, I always had Bianca to talk to.
There isn’t really a way to describe a close friendship. It’s kind of like a story that you had to be there to understand. Bianca and I became closer than friends - we were sisters. Leaving her at the end of my three months was one of the hardest moments in both of our lives. We had become so close that being away from each other felt unnatural. The last few days in our room together was filled with us both in tears as I tried to lighten the mood by singing “Don’t cry for me Argentina!’, which always seemed to make her crack a grin.
I can’t say that every relationship between host siblings - whether they be the child of the host parents or another exchange student - turns out as positive and close as Bianca and mine. We were lucky; We shared many interests, had the same sense of humor, and even had similar experiences back home. But while many of the other exchange students had great relationships with their new siblings, that isn’t always the case. Some people just don’t click, and that’s not anyone’s fault. I encourage you to try and make other friends or at least be on good terms. But if you feel at all uncomfortable or unsafe with the person you are staying with, be sure to talk to someone about it because changes can be made. Remember, this is your trip that you paid for and want to enjoy, so don’t be afraid to speak up if something doesn’t seem right.
I firmly believe that Bianca and I will be friends for life. Even though oceans separate us, we are still in touch every day through text and social media. I look forward to the day I can visit her in Argentina or we can travel back to England together. In fact, it is looking like she will be visiting me this summer, which I am so excited for. Although England may be in our past now, I look forward to seeing where she goes in the future and all the memories we will create once we see each other again.
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